FEB 16, 2018 – 1:48AM

Holocene – Bon Iver

I’m afraid of commitment. There, I said it.

But I’m also afraid of being alone. Not physically alone, but emotionally. Life is so fleeting yet every single breath can be marked by a moment. Moments left untouched, moments making mistakes, moments alone.

How strange it is to still be breathing when every time I feel something I shut it out completely. “Don’t catch feelings” they say. Feelings aren’t contagious. They aren’t something you can “catch.” Feelings bubble up, they arise, and they make you whole. What are we without feelings?

Nothing. We are nothing.

Feel. Take it all in. Fall.

Her breath on your cheeks. Your hands in his hair. Her arms wrapped around you. Whispers between the sheets.

And remember.

Remember the color of her soft curls under the sun. His wrinkled nose every time he smells onions at the supermarket. Remember how she tasted under the summer skies (like honey). How you both fell asleep before an episode of Sherlock ended.

Go out. Ask him on a date. And later, when the sun finally sets on your love (because it will), drown in these thoughts and relish them. Life is finite. Memories, infinite.

— just a girl (with too many feelings but a lot of hope in her heart)