The sky is grey and I am filled with uncertainty. It didn’t rain today, but I wished it did. I am tired of coming up with different ways to say I’m tired. I wonder if there is some merit in getting up every day and doing it even though I’m tired. I try to convince myself that everything happens for a reason and that if I am steadfast in my convictions, surely everything must turn out okay.
But I’ve been really fucking confused lately. I got really good at swallowing my feelings. Which ones am I allowed to let bubble up? I’m confused. For now, the answer is simple: I only choose the good feelings. Life is short. I’m not here for a bad time and I’m not here to waste my time. At the same time, life is long. All these unresolved feelings, I’m sure, will find their own place. I don’t believe in God but I believe in myself. And I believe that one day, the answer will come to me.
tl;dr que sera, sera
liquid guilt 