i haven’t been doing well lately
i’m cold all the time
i just want some peace and quiet
the days are bleeding into each other
it is getting harder to breathe
i could drown if i wanted
i starve myself sometimes so i can pretend the emptiness is from my stomach and not from my soul
i am hurting inside
but i’m also numb and… really angry
i am so angry it scares me
i want to destroy things myself thingsmyselfthings myself
i don’t want to die
there is so much hate in my heart and guilt in my veins
i want someone to punch me really hard in the stomach so i can throw up my feelings my guilt my hurt my emptiness
the world is moving too fast and all i can do is stare blankly
i am screaming inside
i just want to fall asleep but i’m afraid of waking up
i’m angry and scared always so fucking cold
it is 5:19 a.m. and everything is blurry and muted and distant
i think i am lonely
there is an immense sadness inside me that i cannot shake
liquid guilt 