I don’t feel so bad today. I think.
I woke up at 9:30 a.m. and decided not to go to my bio lecture because I think that it is a waste of my time. I hate biology.
I ate cheerios and immediately felt guilty afterward.
I submitted my essay to the very nice professor who granted me an extension (I told him about my crippling depression). Which made me realize that I should probably be asking for more help.
I told Her Campus about my crippling depression too (ironic because I’m working on the mental health campaign). So they’re giving me time off.
I finally have an appointment tomorrow with BU’s student health services so I guess I’ll finally have help (??).
I keep having nightmares that leave me panic-stricken in the middle of the night. I always feel guilty for waking Joe up but it is so hard for me to fall back asleep. His breathing helps steady mine.
I can’t remember the last time I called my dad and I always feel guilty thinking about it. I can’t call him yet – he’ll ask me how things are and I can never lie to him. But I can’t tell him how much I’m struggling because I need to prove to him that I can be an independent adult.
I have an article I’m supposed to write for my journalism class that’s due in a couple of days. I like this class a lot. And my professor is incredibly inspiring. But I’m scared of all the deadlines I will miss because of my mental health. I haven’t missed any yet because I’m really pushing myself.
This post sucks but it made me feel a little bit better so I guess that’s okay. I still feel incredibly lost but I’m trying.
-D
*I realized after I posted this that today was Halloween. So, Happy Halloween! It’s kinda sad that I forgot actually, it’s one of my favorite holidays.
liquid guilt 